Older adults need to remain active as they age, as it greatly benefits their minds and bodies. However, it can be challenging for their adult children to convince them to begin new activities without making them feel inferior or patronized.
Navigating these conversations is essential to keeping your parents healthy and improving their quality of life.
Signs Your Elderly Parent Needs Help
Look for patterns rather than isolated incidents when deciding when to intervene with elderly parents. Subtle signs of decreased activity are the most common, such as having difficulty completing daily tasks or withdrawing from social interactions.
If they used to converse with the neighbors or water their plants and stop for an extended period of time, this is cause for concern. Other signs include declined hygiene, abrupt weight loss, confusion, neglected home or finances, frequent falls and decreased mobility.
The Importance of Staying Active
Your elderly parent will greatly benefit from staying active. Aging can lead to Alzheimer’s disease and cardiovascular problems, but staying active can help prevent or slow their progression.
Physical Benefits
Activity can make older adults more mobile, enabling them to walk around their homes and navigate local sidewalks. It can also help prevent chronic diseases because it keeps muscles in motion and blood circulating.
Mental Health Benefits
Movement also improves mental health, reducing anxiety and depression. Older adults often think about death, especially as they watch their friends or spouses pass away. Dwelling on these thoughts for extended periods can affect their well-being. Remaining active provides a good distraction and boosts their stamina.
Cognitive Benefits
While it slightly overlaps with mental health, activity benefits cognitive function for seniors as well. Their brains work better with frequent stimulation, helping avoid confusion and vertigo. You may notice enhanced memory, too.
How to Talk to Your Parents About Staying Active
Having a conversation about activity with your elderly parents can be difficult without overstepping boundaries. Here are some ways to approach it sensitively.
Have a Team Approach
Develop a team approach when spearheading the conversation. Focus on partnership, not lectures. Frame the issue as a “we” problem, demonstrating teamwork instead of accusatory finger-pointing. Let them take the lead if they offer so they can focus on their interests and past hobbies. They will be more open to staying active if they enjoy the activity.
Overcome Obstacles
One of the most common obstacles you may face is your parents shutting you down. They may initially insist they are fine for several reasons. They could fear falling during more physical activities, since they could break their bones and become incapacitated. This is a legitimate concern, since about 1 million older adults are hospitalized from fall-related injuries annually.
Your loved one may lack motivation due to being set in their ways or from not having moved actively for years. They could also fear pain, as seniors often suffer from daily ailments that medication cannot always fix.
It is important to approach this difficult conversation with empathy and practical solutions. Show you value their concerns and suggest simple starting points. You can also encourage them to find a partner to participate with.
How to Keep Aging Parents Active
After the initial conversation, you must find activities for your parents to do.
Research Activities
Explore activities together to see what sparks their interest. Walking, biking, chair exercises, aquatic training and yoga are all great options to help them get the recommended 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity each day. For their mental health, you can try game nights, puzzles and adult coloring books. Base the decision on what sparks their interest. Find a balance between the things they want to do and those that will benefit them most.
Move Beyond Traditional Exercise
While traditional exercise is a great method, it does not work for all seniors. Try activities that go beyond lifting light weights or walking on a treadmill. Older adults can volunteer for a cause that matters to them, like a soup kitchen.
They could also teach classes at their local YMCA, especially if they can knit or possess another valuable skill. Gardening is an additional option, either in their yard, at a local park or at a nearby school.
Social clubs are a great way for seniors to meet peers and engage in friendly interactions with people outside their family. Book clubs help their cognitive abilities, while discussing them promotes active thinking and listening.
A walking club allows older adults to explore their neighborhood and have fun conversations with other members. They could even try a cold plunge club if they’re brave. While this may seem extreme, cold plunges help lessen inflammation and enhance seniors’ immune systems.
What if You Have a Strained Relationship?
Unfortunately, some adult children do not have a good relationship with their elderly parents, which makes these conversations much harder. It goes beyond a simple disagreement, often resulting from abuse, child neglect or differing political views.
Taking care of your parents can cause you to reexperience past arguments or trauma. People with strained parental relationships can still follow the steps above, but you should also consider additional factors.
- Set strict boundaries – If there is a particularly sensitive topic, inform your parent that you do not want to talk about it. Do not engage with them if they discuss it anyway.
- Use logic over emotions – Try not to get upset if they act out. If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, excuse yourself and try to calm down before reentering the situation.
- Seek professional support – Sometimes, you are not the best person to help your parent. A professional can offer a clinical perspective rather than an emotional one.
These factors should help you prevent burnout. Remember that your relationship with your parent does not define you. The fact that you still want to help despite your strained relationship is an admirable trait.
Remain Thoughtful During the Process
If you notice your elderly parent’s health declining, have a conversation about it and help them find activities to improve their current state. Remember to remain encouraging and thoughtful throughout the process, inspiring them to be active without overstepping boundaries.
Physical and mental activity will help improve their quality of life and provide you with peace of mind.
